The Blog

| April 13, 2018

Number 245

“Your iPhone is Disabled,” it said.

No reason, apparently. A glitch, apparently. A random act of irritating, apparently.

I woke up the other day and stuck my thumbprint on the home button and up popped a window that said my Password had expired and needed to be reset, even though I’d never heard about that happening to anyone before. So I filled out the space that said to fill in my current password, then hit NEXT…and the same window popped up again…and again…and again…and then………….big finish…DISABLED.

How about that?

It was strange, confusing and oddly freeing. I couldn’t check e-mails or texts or call anyone or pay bills or scroll through Instagram…and I’d just added about two hours to my day. There are worse things. But I did the responsible thing and called the Apple store to make an appointment with the Genius Bar…HA! Had you going there for a minute, right? I didn’t make an appointment…because you can’t make an appointment. The powers that be in the Apple-verse decided it would be much more impressive if they made you wait, like, forever to solve the problems they had inflicted on you. Interesting theory. Kindalike the Starbucks approach of let’s-make-them-wait-in-line-forever-for-their-coffee-because-they-ll-think-we’re-making-it-custom-for-them-when-in-fact-we’re-only-burning-the-coffee-that-much-more. Don’t tell me you haven’t thought the same thing. And speaking of Starbucks, can we all just admit that their coffee just isn’t that good?

But that’s another topic. Anyway, back to Apple. So, I made my walk-in appointment with the young lady holding the red-sheathed iPad, who calmly said, with no sense of the comic, my appointment would be in 4½ hours and did I care to wait…”til hell freezes over?” I thought to myself, but, “No thank you,” I said and proceeded to find a Cheesecake Factory and some guacamole. Have you ever been to a Cheesecake Factory? That’s another story too. They’ve taken “Supersize” to an astounding extreme. And people wonder where clogged arteries come from…..

Anyway, time passes, guacamole is consumed, plus a little Pinot Grigio – one does get thirsty waiting for an Apple Genius…good to know – then a little shopping – shorts…who ever goes out to buy shorts? – but when you have 4½ hours to kill, anything’s possible.

Eventually, my time had come; and I met with an arrogant 40-ish year old guy named, well, he never told me, who looks at me with the Apple Genius “you’re an idiot and I’m so I. T. superior” patented gaze who asked me distractedly, “What do you think is the problem?” to which I replied, “You tell me.”as I handed him my device.

I said, “Get in. Here’s my passcode.” He sighed, typed, stepped back and called someone else over. “Not in your wheelhouse?” I asked.

A very nice guy, who introduced himself, imagine that, cane to rescue. His name was Buddy, and Buddy saved the day. However, he too said he’d never seen anything like what my phone was doing. But he didn’t shy away from the challenge and basically did what all I.T. geniuses eventually do. He wiped it. Then rebooted. Then we reprogrammed passcodes and passwords for the ninth time in three days. He did some dexterous digital dancing on my device and magically managed to not lose any information except for three text messages sent over the last 4½ hours. Pretty amazing. Buddy is my hero.

So, now I’m iPhone equipped once more. It’s a good thing. I asked if he could guarantee that it wouldn’t happen again and Buddy replied, totally understanding the comic factor, “We’re Apple. We don’t guarantee anything.”

Well, he was honest. I hope I never need to see Buddy again…………………..…but you never know. Neither does Apple.

 

The apple cannot be stuck back on the Tree of Knowledge; once we begin to see, we are doomed and challenged to seek the strength to see more, not less.
-– Arthur Miller

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